The ‘taal erbij’ is a clear method for relational therapy. For partners, the image of their relation, how they experience it, can give acknowledgement for how they feel within the relation.
Often recognition is what partners lack, they feel very lonesome in their struggle within the relationship.
Apart from the problems that are faced within the relation, partners bring their history. When their backpack is filled with suffering in their past, it can sometimes be preferred to take some individual sessions before continuing the relational therapy.
Sometimes it brings more equality to do that for both partners. It depends on personal choices. It can unburden the relationship when a partner takes back what is his/hers. When a person will not long for the partner to fill that hole, that desire. It can be healing to acknowledge that the longing is there, anyhow, that it is of oneself.
Guideline can be to know that when an emotion is very powerfull and overwhelming, it is yours and not of your partner.